Monday, June 8, 2009

How to make your boyfriend's friends like you

UPDATE: Oh there is justice in the world. There is justice. Le girlfriend is no more. Gone. Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.

I am decidedly tomboy in personality. I look very girly, but I can act like a total boy. Because of this, and because girls are too much drama, most of my best friends are guys. Because of this, I deal with a lot of the psycho girlfriends that come with it. This is my list of advice for females for making nice with your new boyfriend's friends.

- Recognize the importance of friend approval if you want to stick around. Flings don't require any approval, but if you don't fit in with the friends that are important to a guy, you don't fit into his everyday life. He won't like that. Its easier when a girl blends in with the friends, rather than creating drama with them.
- Remember that the friends were there first. Your relationship with him and ours are different, but chances are, we've got a lot more history, and if push comes to shove, he's going to pick all of us over one of you. Don't ever try to make him make that choice.
- Try to enjoy the things he does with his friends. This doesn't mean you have to do things you hate, or compromise ideals. But if they're doing something relatively harmless and you're invited, try to hang out. They'll appreciate the effort, even if you end up hating it.
- Don't accuse his female friends of sleeping with him, wanting to sleep with him, or anything else. It makes you look like a jealous, crazy broad who is absolutely paranoid. If they've been friends since they were young, and they were going to sleep together, trust would have happened by now.
- Don't turn into a snoop. Don't check his calls, read his texts, go on his instant messaging, or go through anything else that isn't yours. Just because he's dating you does not mean he's not entitled to private conversations.
- We demand private time with him. This means time where you're not around, not texting, not calling, and not e-mailing him. Time where you do not exist. This is essential.
- Don't call him annoying ass pet names in front of us. "Babe" or the likes are acceptable, when not said in a baby tone, but "muffincake" or anything remotely like that makes us all want to gouge your eyes out. Him included, not gonna lie.

I'm currently dealing with a female who has entered my life, thanks to one of my best friends (thanks, Sean) who breaks every single one of the above rules. Our entire friend group hates her and has no problem undermining their relationship. We don't want her around, and we'll be openly happy when she bites the dust.

So girls, don't ever be that girl. Seriously. She sucks.