Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The glory of roommates

Oh roommates. The fun that is trying to strike a balance between two unrelated people who are living together but not sleeping together. I think the word "roommate" now puts a chill in my spine. I've been through my fair share of roommates over the past few years, thanks to university. (Hang on, I'm counting in my head) 10 in 4 years, to be exact. Some were more than one at a time, thank you very much. I'm a horrible roommate and a great roommate all rolled into one, depending on what time of the day it is, how much caffeine I've had and whether you've annoyed me lately. So lets examine that for fun.

5 Reasons Why The Grown Up Teenager is a BAD roommate
- I stay up late. Really late. If you're a light sleeper, this doesn't translate well. At all.
- I grew up in a big house with lots of space, and tons of land around it. Being cramped into a small amount of space in the concrete jungle (aka a university dorm) does not a happy me make.
- That house I mentioned? There were no other kids. I'm an only child. It's an adjustment living with people under the age of 30. I'm not sure I like it.
- I'm territorial. Probably a spill over from the only child thing, but if a space (my room) or an object is mine, I expect you to stay out and don't touch it, respectively. Borrowing my stuff without asking makes me murderous.
- I'm confrontational. I suck at knowing when to avoid a fight. I'm also blunt. Put those two together and you've got someone who's going to tell you how it is, loudly. Its hurt feelings before.

Now after that bit of self loathing, we'll move on to the positive points, before I crush my own ego!

5 Reasons The Grown Up Teenager is a GOOD roommate
- I'm neat and clean. I'm not the kid who will leave dirty dishes in the sink, dirty laundry on the floor and not clean my room for months. I can't do it. Dirty makes me unhappy
- I'm good at listening, and giving advice when solicited. If I'm asked to keep something in confidence, I do.
- Because of my territory issues mentioned above, there's no risk of me invading your room, borrowing or using your stuff, etc. I can't be a hypocrite!
- You'll never wonder what I'm thinking. I'm not the person who keeps everything to themselves and explodes on you when you're unsuspecting. If you tick me off, I let you know. We resolve. We move on. Simple.
- I cook well and own a quad cab Chevy truck (my country roots are showing). No, those have nothing to do with each other, but since they benefit me the most and roommates secondarily, I combined them. I like cooking for people so roommates get the fringe benefits, and having my truck makes me immensely popular because not only does it have just as many seats as most sedans, it also has a ton of storage space in the bed and towing capacity. Makes for fun weekends, and I will say no more.

And now, just for fun...

Tales of Epic Roommate Fail
-I had a roommate who had never cooked before. This girl could burn water. She did these three within a week: when told to "wash" the rice before she cooked it, she used dish soap. Bubbly rice. Next time, she was told to add salt to the rice before she cooked it. She added enough that it could have been cut and sold as horse licks. Third: she put long grain black rice in with Minute Rice. It came out purple. Purple, I say.
- Same roommate, same year. She was in the bedroom next to mine. Her boyfriend came for a weekend visit. They were, ehm, enjoying each other's company and both felt out of bed at 2 AM (single bed in res), onto the floor, which was concrete covered in thin carpet. Bang.
- Different roommate, same year. She got a bottle of wine from her cousin who got it from his roommate, who pilfered it while working at his uncle's winery. I'm sure you can tell where this was going. She drank the whole bottle that night, in between eating Miss Vickies salt and vinegar chips, because the wine was over fermented and repulsive. She went into the kitchen while tanked to get a cup of water, and while standing at the sink, she fell sideways into the fridge, bounced off, fell backwards and cracked her head on the ceramic floor. This wouldn't be nearly as funny as it is were it not for the fact that after she landed with a hard *crack*, she said "Don't worry, guys! I didn't feel it! ....But I probably will tomorrow...."

So your turn. Lets hear some funny roommate tales. More epic fails to add to my list. Rant away. I love hearing these stories!


bethany actually said...

This isn't a fail so much as a funny. When I went to college, my roommate freshman year was my good friend Erin. The way our room was arranged, it worked best for my stereo to be on her side of the room. Now, Erin was a little, um, less neat than I, which didn't really bother me. She made me a promise that she would always keep a path cleared for me to the stereo. There were times when she would look around and realize that the floor was covered with so much crap, there was no path. So she would literally clear a small path for me. :-) It's a good thing I already loved her when we roomed together, eh?

I would tell you about the time she tried to wake me up early so we could go actually eat breakfast before class, and I raised my head and asked her, "What the f*ck are you doing waking me up at 7:30 in the morning?" before going back to sleep...but I don't remember it. I only know it happened because Erin told me later. And she's never let me forget it. (Yes, we are still good friends!)

Lost In Splendor said...

I totally LOVED this post. Very amusing. I would love to tell you some of mine, but I get blog stalked by some ex roommates of mine so I might prefer to send you an email. I don't need more drama.

I love hearing other people's roommate stories. Perhaps I'll share mine when it's been a little longer.

The Grown Up Teenager said...

@bethanyactually - I'm not sure which is funnier, the tiny path to the stereo, or telling someone to eff off while still basically asleep. LOL That's grand

@Lost in Splendor - Totally know what that's like. I had to change my personal e-mail address after leaving one place, because I couldn't get my roommate to stop e-mailing me...from multiple accounts! But e-mail away! :)