Life Update

Sorry I haven't written for a while. Things have been a little insane.

Ben deserved his face time at the top of my blog, because that kind of hate and hurt from parent to child needs to be stopped right now. See my last entry if you're wondering what I'm talking about.

Otherwise, life has generally been insane. The end of the semester always brings insanity and papers and sleepless nights of studying and this one was no exception. That's really all that needs to be said.

Work, on the other hand...I could talk for days. I'm now a manager of 3 businesses, all owned by the same entity that I work for. Between said 3 businesses, we need to hire about 160 people, thanks to student turnover at the end of semesters. This means I am interviewing over 270 people. In ten days. For those of you that have done interviews, you know my pain. For those of you that haven't...be glad you don't understand.

So school insanity just wrapped up but work insanity is just beginning. Welcome to my crazy life.

An open letter to the love gods

Dear universe,

It is entirely unfair that the hot guy from class (who happens to be in the Army Reserves and has the body to prove it), who also works security at my job, who is friendly and flirtatious, and immensely intelligent 9and contributes to class on a regular basis) IS TAKEN.

Because now I feel uneasy about the fact that we've been talking for the past couple HOURS. No lines were crossed but I doubt that would matter if his girlfriend (who I didn't know existed until...oh, 5 minutes ago) heard about that one.

NOT COOL, universe. Not cool.

Sincerely,

Me

Starting over

My aunt asked me the other day how I'm feeling about the school transfer. I gave the standard societal answer of, "I'm excited, I'm happy, blah blah blah." But its not even close to entirely true. After the initial joy of getting accepted wore off, the sneaky emotions found their way in.

Thrilled. Terrified. Apprehensive. Excited. Amazed. Dumbfounded. Dumb. Smart. Alone. Its all there, and more feelings that I don't even have words for.

I'm still thrilled that I got in. Its a much needed change. A smaller city, a smaller campus, and closer to home. I have friends that go there. With the marks I had, they owed me nothing and I'm grateful for the chance. Its a leading Canadian university, and I can now say that I go there. Its spectacular.

But like always, the doubt creeps back in. I now have to figure out an entirely new campus, a new city, new professors and new classes. While I've got friends there, its old hat to them. I'm scared that I won't live up to what the school's looking for on the probation* term. I'm terrified that it will feel the same as the last one did, and that all of this change will be for nothing.

My logical side says I'll be okay, if I work at it and make it home. But I failed at that so badly at the last school that I can't help but doubt myself. It makes for some pretty conflicting feelings. I'm moving my furniture Friday. A friend and I leased a place for August. We're both farm kids that have no time for moving in the middle of harvest so we're doing it now. Packing is making my hyperventilate.

I feel like a little kid that needs someone to hold her hand and tell her it will be okay. It will be, but I still need someone to tell me that. It's a scary business, starting over.



*Because of the way my marks were, and how I applied for the transfer, I'm on mandatory academic probation. If I don't live up to it, I will basically be kicked out.

Accepted!

So I woke up this morning, pushing noon, after a virtual all nighter with one of my best friends who just got back from visiting the UK. 4 AM never came so fast.

Blurry eyed, I checked my business e-mail, to see if there was anything important for the farm, and then noticed that I had personal messages in my other inbox. One of them carried the subject line "Information from *Insert University Name Here*" Suddenly, my eyes were less blurry. It was info about my school e-mail address, and how to access it.

Wide awake now, I'm realizing they probably don't give addresses to just anyone. But I haven't gotten any official confirmation. Its supposed to come in the mail. I may or may not have pounced on our mailbox the minute the mailman left. Nothing. Huh. Now I'm confused.

I'm also a child, and refuse to wait. So I looked up the number of the admissions office, found the extension of the person who handles my major. Heart pounding, I dialed the digits and explained the e-mail and lack of mail.

The wonderful lady, with the voice of an angel (okay, so I'm exaggerating, but if she wasn't on the other end of a phone, I would have kissed her), told me that, yes, I have officially been accepted and will receive a package of info, including the offer of admission, next week in the mail.

Oh my god, you guys, I'VE BEEN ACCEPTED TO THE UNIVERSITY I WANTED SOOOO BADLY!

The proverbial car that is my life is back on the highway. For the past few years, there were plenty of times where I didn't feel like I was the driver in control. Heck, I felt like a hostage, blindfolded, gagged and tied up in the trunk in a car hurtling towards a cliff.

I made quite the detour, and hated every second of it. I struggled with homesickness, loneliness, and a million other things. Some of my marks tanked because of it. I nearly kissed a university degree goodbye. I was dangerously close to it.

But things are back on track now. I'll be an hour from home, with a vehicle and I can go home any time I want. I'll be living with a friend from high school (we've signed a lease, for the record), instead of people I don't know well. I'll still be doing a degree I love.

It's still not going to be a walk in the park, but I can see the road again. It feels good.

Ugh

So I just got off the phone with the admissions officer at the school I'm working on transferring to/hoping to get into. They received my application on May 13, according to the centre that controls all that fun stuff and as of July, I had heard nothing. So I figured I'd call to see if they needed anything from me, or how long it could possibly take.

The girl I talked to managed to kick me in a couple sentences. Because of how my marks at my old school were (ie some were terrible, because miserable people don't like to study), my application has to be put before a committee. One member of said committee is out of the country right now, so there isn't a meeting any time soon.

She estimated that it would be another 2 to 3 weeks, which means another month before I hear anything, since it has to be mailed. That puts me in early August. I'm already looking at housing right now, because its a competitive market, if you want to be anywhere near school, and apartments get snatched up quick.

If I don't get into school, I'll be doing correspondence but living in the city and paying rent for correspondence when I could do it from home isn't even close to ideal, but I can't ask my friend (who is already in) to wait to sign a September lease til mid August. That's not fair to her.

So we're signing a lease and planning to move, and I'm crossing my fingers and toes. Will you cross yours for me too?

The official waiting game

So for an update on the school status, since my last post about it:

I have no update. Ha, wasn't that anti climactic?

I finally received my copy of both sets of transcripts, which means the school has them too. I also received a corrected copy of my application, with my name spelled right and my major corrected. This all makes me happy.

I photocopied everything I had sent to the school so far, and attached it to a letter, explaining the mix up, just so I don't get accepted into the wrong dang program. That would suck after all of this.

Now the real waiting game begins. Applications are processed in a "timely manner" which could mean anything so now I am at the checking the mail every day, hoping to see something with a school logo on it stage. Awesome. I'll keep you posted. Send good thoughts, prayers and karma my way. I really, really want to get in.

The school thang

So about that update I promised about school. Ha. This may turn into a rant. I'll do my best to keep it at a reasonable length but don't say I didn't warn you.

Now here's the situation. For the past year, all of my courses have been online (no in class schooling). I wrote my exams at the end of March. As of May 7, I didn't have marks for 2 out of 4 assignments AND the exam in one course. Turn around time is supposed to be 5 business days. After calling and e-mailing the tutor multiple times, I called the (out of province) school, to speak to someone above her. I talked to someone who said she would call me back. She never did. I called and spoke to someone above HER the next day. He promised he'd get me some marks and he did. 7 weeks after my exam, I can finally order transcripts. Awesome. I demand one for the school and one for me so I know they actually got sent out.

I now go to order a transcript from the school I attended full time before that. The internet informs me I have an outstanding fee (that no one told me about) that has to be paid before I can order documents. Fine. I log on and pay it online, which should be instant. Its not. So I now have to call my school, and ask when that will clear. Oh, it won't clear for a week but if I fax them proof of payment, they can clear it manually. Fine, I fax them. Still doesn't clear. Another phone call. Oh, well, they can clear it manually but that doesn't clear the system, so if I want a transcript, that's also manual. I've gotta fax a request. Fine. I fax it. Transcripts coming, again both to me and the school.

I receive confirmation of my application from the institution that handles all of the applications to universities in my province. My name is spelled wrong (big problem, as my photo ID won't match the name and I could conceivably be stealing someone else's spot who has my name but spelled differently) AND my major is wrong. Another long distance phone call to talk to someone, who tells me the application has already been sent to the schools like this and they can't change it. I tell them they better because the error is theirs, and I have a copy of the original form I sent in to prove it. Three more phone calls later, they've had to close the account entirely and open a new one, and they get the joy of spelling everything to me over the phone, and now I'm waiting for a paper copy of THAT.

So basically, the application process has been one big fat fail and by the time it gets sorted out, I may be bald from tearing my own hair out. Its going to be worth it, right? RIGHT? (PLEASE SAY YES, or I may truly lose my sanity)

Exams Part Two

Another short post, because, um, hi. Need sleep. Exam one is done and over with. Exam two is tomorrow. Although I crammed like a champ tonight, I feel less prepared for this one, and its scaring me.

So keep me in your thoughts tomorrow morning. I can use all the divine intervention I can get, and I'm being totally serious. I procrastinated too long and studied in a very short amount of time and I fear its all leaking out my ears.

Exams

There's a bit of a lack of blogging, and even blog reading, going on in my world. I've got exams on Friday and Saturday, and a few assignments and a buttload of a reading to do before then, so until further notice, my nose is buried in a book, due to a massive amount of procrastination (what else is new?).

Send good vibes my way, these matter a lot for the transfer process.

There's no place like home

God, I've been a flighty blogger again.

Um, so the move is over. No big drama. I had everything sitting organized in boxes when my dad got to my place. We were loaded and on the road within 45 minutes, which is pretty fantastic. It was a long drive home (almost 7 hours in a not-so-comfortable truck), but worth it. Lordy am I ever glad to be here.

My niece (who is currently 21 months old) did a happy dance in the window when she saw me for the first time and came at me like a bullet when I came through the door, and that innocent reaction sealed the deal for me. Home is where I belong.

I'm unpacking much more slowly that I usually do, because it doesn't feel like I get to stay. Its school Reading Week right now (Spring Break for you Yankees) so it still feels like I should be going back in a week. Whenever I remind myself that I'm not, I grin. Big and cheesy.

Anyway, there's not a lot of exciting news, but I wanted to at least get a new post up and not feel like I was abandoning my blog. I've got a new fitness routine that I want to try, so that's a future post, so stay tuned. ;)

The bad days

The hardest part of the movin on up phase are the days when you feel like you're falling again. I'm having one, and I can't stop crying.

I want to go home. Now.

Broken pipes and happy moves

So the pipes in my current rental burst today. One elbow only, thank god, but we still have to leave the taps running in order to avoid more freezing because nothing's properly insulated. The joke of the situation is that today is the day I planned to tell my roommates that I'm moving out at the end of March.

I've decided to go home for the summer and I'm super excited about it. If I had stayed in school here, my parents were pushing for me to stay here for the summer, and it was a thought that was enough to induce tears. I've spoken to them about transfer plans, and they know I'm planning on coming home.

Overall these roommates have been the best I've had, so I want to give them as much notice as possible. But today, the universe seems to be telling me it isn't the time to say something. But mentally, the countdown is beginning.

The transfer process...first steps

So back story, abbreviated version: I chose to go to a university that is a 6 hour drive from my hometown. I do not remember why, and I doubt I had a concrete reason, but I did. I should be in 4th year right now, but my marks were bad enough, due to skipping and not handing in assignments, that I got served mandatory faculty withdrawal at the end of last year. I'm taking courses right now, through correspondence, for re-entry. Back story over.

I've been terribly homesick the entire time I've been in university, and after three years and change, I don't think anyone can say I haven't given this school and town the old college try. I don't like it here. I'm not happy here. I don't have good friends here. Quite frankly, I haven't put real roots down and I don't want to.

After talking to my parents tonight, I have started researching transfers to a couple universities that are all less than an hours' drive from my parents house. The one I want the most requires the exact same things as re-entry into my school academically, and a letter of why I want to go to the school, what I've done since school to better myself, and why I think I will do better there. I'm convinced I can write a sincere letter than will win over an admissions board.

And this news is making me very, very happy.