Sunday, February 7, 2010

Miss, table of 1

First off, sorry I've been a lame blogger lately. I've kinda been MIA. Work has been intense and insane and busy, and school is also keeping me going, with tons of work. So if I don't blog for a while again, well...sorry. In the meantime though, I have a confession to make.

The green monster of jealousy, it has been bothering me lately.

I'm at that age where a lot of my friends/people my age are starting to get engaged/married/pregnant etc. While I am genuinely happy when my friends find a good person that they want to spend their lives with, it always gives me a few pangs of jealousy too. I want that happiness for me too.

I'm not in a relationship, and haven't really ever been in one that I would call long term. I want a husband and kids one day, and sometimes it scares me that I won't find someone that I can see as my husband/parenting partner.

In the university setting, its not easy to find someone that I can respect as a potential partner. I don't drink to excess, I don't smoke (legal or illegal) and I demand that same out of a potential relationship, but with that statement, I probably crossed off 99% of the guys I go to school with.

I'm the girl that reads mom blogs and mentally files away tips, ideas, etc for when I have kids, but I'm not the one that's dating seriously or getting married. With Singles Awareness (Valentines) Day coming up, the pangs of jealousy escalate more than a little bit.

One day, I want to be someone's wife and someone's mom, but for now, its "Miss, table of 1."


asthefarmturns said...

Hold in there. I didn't think I would ever find Mr. Right, but then I did. Amazing things will happen when you least expect it.

bethany actually said...

I went through something similar when all my friends first started having kids. Troy and I were ready for kids for years before we actually had one, due mainly to my wonky cycles plus Troy's being away on ships all the time with the Navy. I sympathize. Waiting is hard!

Lost In Splendor said...

You'll find him. I agree with the excessive drinking and smoking too. Major deal breakers. I can't even stand to walk by someone smoking on the street. Yuck!

I admit I feel the green monster when people who I know get engaged, married or have kids. I totally thought I would be there already! I have been in relationships, but I have been dating two people for a combined 9 years (!!) with no ring. While I know KC and I are moving in that direction and we can't even afford a wedding right now let alone kids it still stings when friends who have been together for less time than us get married or pregnant. Oh well...I guess everything happens at it's own time.

This is going to sound so cheesy and perhaps I have mentioned it before, but I do have many friends that have had success with (reputable) online dating sites. Just a thought. I know if I was single that's what I would use. It's hard to meet people!

The Grown Up Teenager said...

@asthefarmturns - I'm holdin in there. Some days, the Green Monster tries to beat me up, but most days...I'm in the clear. :)

@bethany actually - Oh man, I don't even want to think about the waiting game that is trying to get pregnant...especially with a travelling husband. But you've got a beautiful one now!

@ Lost in Splendor - I'm absolutely petrified of online dating, thanks to a roommate in first year who had strung a guy along for over a year with fake pictures, a fake name, fake life story, everything. I don't know...people are fake enough in person sometimes and the internet can just add to that, so I'm hesitant, to say the least. Some day, I'll find him.