Old friends don't always change

Facebook is like one giant life reunion. Sometimes, you see stuff you don't want to see, but sometimes, it pleasantly surprises you. I first got that wonderful time suck in first year of university, when it was only available to people with a registered university address. (Those were the days.) No stupid apps, no quizzes or surveys. Just a quick way to connect with friends from home who were at other schools, and new classmates, all on one neat website.

I've had it since then, and while it's become more MySpace by the second, adding all those apps, quizzes, games, etc and letting people's moms on (seriously parents, don't add your kids' friends. Its creepy), I still use it to keep in touch with a lot of people. Every now and then, someone unexpected crops up. Someone from way back in the day, that sends you a friend request out of the blue.

The other day, an old friend from elementary school added me. We didn't go to the same high school, because he moved, and we just eventually lost touch. I added him, found out where he's been going to school and quickly got caught up as to where his life is heading. We started chatting on Facebook, catching each other up on the past 10 years of our lives, and now talk regularly, as if those 10 years apart never existed.

He's in school in a neighbouring city and we're planning visits soon. I can't even describe how nice it feels to have two things because of this. The first is a decided throwback to the innocent days of elementary school, and how uncomplicated life was, and the second is a knowledge that though our lives change, some people really do stay the same. We've both grown, and matured and had totally different life experiences, but we click just like we did, and it feels good.

Seven

I am an only child. I have six brothers. Both statements are true. They're not related to me by blood, but damn anyone who says they're not mine. We actively choose each other, every day of our life. We love fiercely, unconditionally, constantly. We're each others best friends, confidantes, and teammates. Friends by chance but siblings by choice.

Tonight, we celebrate a birthday of the one born August 7. Tomorrow, we go to the 17th annual photoshoot. We all have an album with pictures of all 7 of us, taken every August. It started the year before we went to kindergarten, and has continued since. All of us, in one picture, every year. We've grown up together, and its in pictures for our children to see one day.

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It started when we were babies. Its been a 22 year love affair. Except instead of 2, there are 7. We were babies, and our moms were Catholic. There was a mommy and me social at the church, and that's where we met, before we could even talk to each other.

The years flew by, and we were dragged to the same church events, community events and playdates. We went to the same elementary school. By then, we were already causing trouble together, from behind cheeky 5 year old grins. We survived scraped knees, falls from bikes, puberty and all the fun elementary school had to offer. Barriers were knocked down before they were put up. We don't need permission to stay at anyone's house, and we walk in without ringing the bell...because we've never had to. As a joke, one of the dads started calling us The Seven. There are 7 of us, and we're all born on the 7th of a month, from February to September of the same year.

We grew older still, and high school rolled around. We got the same speech from everyone; that friendships would change, and maybe things wouldn't be the same.
We didn't have the same classes all day anymore, but nothing changed. We were still loyal. Protectively loyal. Fiercely so. We survived calculus, broken bones, broken hearts and car accidents. Then we lost one of the seven. It shook everyone to their core, but not our relationships. We survived. Then we graduated.

We got the same speech, about how post secondary will change things. This time, we were scared. There was going to be real physical distance. We may not see each other for a month at a time. Would we lose each other? The first Thanksgiving, we were together within 5 minutes of getting home and nothing had changed. Worry gone. We were still us. We survived long distance relationships, dorm rooms, apartments, learning to live alone, and failed grades. We're still us four years later.

We're us because we choose to be us. We're not connected by DNA, or family ties, or anything legal. We don't have any reason but we don't need one. Unconditional love just is, without a why. We have our differences. We argue and fight and get mad. We're not perfect. But we'd be there for each other, any time, anywhere, no matter what. And that feels pretty sibling-real to me.

When people ask me if being an only child is lonely, I smile, and say I don't know. I carved out a family for myself, and they're mine, DNA or not.