Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Who needs a guard dog when you've got 20-somethings with paintball guns?

There's an elderly couple that lives down the road from me. They're 82 (him) and 75 (her) years old, and they'll never let you forget it, because they're still farming. Bad ass, I say. I wanna be that awesome when I'm old. He's deafer than a doornail, and walks slower now, the product of a hip and knee replacement, and if she doesn't have osteoporosis, I'm a monkey's uncle, but they still run their own darn farm. Epic.

They've had a strawberry patch for my entire life, and you'll never have better berries in your life. They're a hard to find variety, and they're grown with no chemicals or artificial fertilizers. I look forward to them every year. The patch has gotten smaller as they grow older, and its just them picking now, instead of the U Pick they used to offer, but they still let me pick berries any time I want to. They're the type of people that would give you the shirt off their back, if you needed it.

Recently, they've had problems with theft from their garden. Its becoming increasingly obvious that it is human theft, and not animal snacking, because plants are yanked out of the ground, and footprints are in the mud. They mentioned it while a friend and I were out picking berries today, and told me to watch my garden too. Theirs is far enough from their house that you could be out there with a flashlight and they wouldn't notice it.

The thought of someone stealing from the cute little old couple made me angry. Irrationally angry. Sometimes I hate humanity. But instead of sitting home being angry, my friend and I devised a plan. We gathered two more friends, and loaded up 4 paintball guns. With permission from my lovely elderly friends, we sat underneath the evergreens that line their garden and waited. Sure enough, two bodies come creeping...not from the driveway but from the trees, flashlights guiding their way. We waited until they were reaching for the berry plants and opened fire.

In seconds, our friendly neighbourhood thieves were covered head to toe in paint and what it sure to be paintball welts, because all 4 of us are country kids that have deadly aim with weapons. After a few yelps and some swearing, and us shining OUR flashlights in their faces, they ran very quickly to leave the property. It felt fantastic to bust them, because that business does not go down out here. Not in my backyard, baby.

And somehow, I doubt they'll be back. Win one for the good guys.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

It's That Time Of The Year

Well,'s that time of the year. Summer in the life of the rural folks means work, sleep, work, sleep, rinse, repeat (weather dependent, of course). If the sun is shining and its not raining, I'm outside and on the go from about 6 in the morning until 9 or 10 at night. It's long days, but it's the life that the farm community lives at this time of year, particularly those who grow their own crops AND have a summer job in agriculture. (Hi, that'd be me. No, I'm not insane, why do you ask?)

Anyway, if my absence from Twitter/my blog/e-mail/cyberspace in general is noticed, I promise I am fine. I'm just really busy and once I finally end up in my house at the end of a 14 or 15 hour work day...I want to sleep, plain and simple. At that point, sleep almost always trumps blogging, reading blogs or catching up on Twitter. And Twittering while driving tractor...well, its like texting while driving a car multiplied about about 362362 stupid points.

Anyway, the point is sorry for what is sure to be an MIA me, don't take it personally.

It's me, not you.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

My security blanket

I realized something about myself recently. I'm not sure when the "Ah-ha!" epiphany moment happened but it was there somewhere. I have friend commitment issues. It's a strange thing to be afflicted with, but I am entirely convinced that I am, in fact, falling prey to this commitment issue business.

See, I have some of the greatest friends that anyone could ever ask for, and believe you me, I do not take them for granted. But the reason these friendships seem so natural to us are because they've been there our whole lives. We "met" as babies because our parents know each other. Its like being someone's doesn't take effort, you just are. We've always just...been. I'm good at that.

Making new friends, art I never fully mastered. Making new acquaintances, I'm a champ. That's easy, for someone that's outgoing and generally friendly. I make new ones every time I start a new class at school. But inevitably, the semester ends and other than random Facebook "Happy birthday!" messages, we fall out of contact. Class friends are always temporary friends; immediately gone when you realize what you shared in common was said class.

I can't handle the sudden BFF types. The ones you just met 5 minutes ago, who want your cell number and invite you to their birthday, all during minute 6. I don't share intimate details of my life with, well, anyone except a select few. I can do the quick and comfortable conversation but the fast bonding, the instant "Let's be the most awesomest friends ever" doesn't work for me. I'm guarded. I'll listen and offer advice, but rarely a story about myself that's not superficial.

I realize, in a big way, all of this is going to come back to bite me in the ass in adult life. I'm realistic enough to know that, as much as I'd love it to happen, I won't live within 10 minutes of my childhood friends forever. We're going to leave university one day, start families and live and grow apart. One day, we'll remember where we end and the other begins, even if we don't right now.

That day is going to suck. Particularly because there isn't a person outside of that circle that really knows me. Right now, they know me so well that a lot of the time, I don't have to explain much. Its comfortable, like an old blanket. I know every tear, every stain, every spot. But one day, someone's going to take that old blanket away from me, and give me something brand spankin new. It'll be a perfectly nice blanket, I'm sure, and capable of keeping me warm, but it won't be my blanket.

I just have to start finding ways to make it my blanket. The tough part is figuring that out.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Stop stepping on my dang toes

I'm always pretty vague about my job on my blog, and Twitter. Its mostly in the interests of keeping my identity equally as vague, because this is supposed to be a place to blow off steam about people that wouldn't appreciate reading it about themselves.

I also don't need to be that chick that gets fired for her blog. Because seriously. SERIOUSLY.

That aside, work has become a hot button topic for me lately. We're going through one heck of a growing pain right now. The bar-like/pub-like business I work for is on the campus of my school (hence the vague), and is run by a combination team of a full time adult manager as well as a few assistant managers, and student assistant managers. The student management changes annually, because many of the managers are upper year students and upper years have a tendency to...yknow, graduate.

I have been promoted to student manager. This is a new position. Previously, it was a team of assistant managers, and none of them outranked each other. I now outrank them all; head of the house, so to speak. (It is a team of 8 that will be under me, if you're curious). The problem right now is that the student AMs that have been my superiors since September are now my inferiors. I didn't just jump one level up and become an equal...I'm their boss now. Awkward.

Some are taking it quite well. The non returners frankly don't care, their days are numbered. However, there is one that is making my life difficult. She's the quiet type, and unaccustomed to power. When she was my boss, she barely had the guts to approach me, but now that I'm hers, she feels the need to...I don't know, test me? She's doing the passive aggressive shit, overriding my decisions behind my back, and I have very little patience for it, and I'm having a difficult time trying to find the middle of the road to deal with it.

I'm a firm believer in "Give an inch and they'll take a mile" in situations like this and I want, and need, her to know that this isn't going to fly, and I'm not putting up with her constantly undermining me. But at the same time, as a new manager who needs a cohesive team of assistants under her, I don't need to bring the hammer down on someone without a really good reason. Even if I really, REALLY would like to. Ahem.

And thus...the politics of management begins.

Any advice is actually welcome on this one, even if you haven't been in a similar situation. Sometimes, an outsider's assessment sheds light on something I didn't even see. So feel free to comment.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Life Update

Sorry I haven't written for a while. Things have been a little insane.

Ben deserved his face time at the top of my blog, because that kind of hate and hurt from parent to child needs to be stopped right now. See my last entry if you're wondering what I'm talking about.

Otherwise, life has generally been insane. The end of the semester always brings insanity and papers and sleepless nights of studying and this one was no exception. That's really all that needs to be said.

Work, on the other hand...I could talk for days. I'm now a manager of 3 businesses, all owned by the same entity that I work for. Between said 3 businesses, we need to hire about 160 people, thanks to student turnover at the end of semesters. This means I am interviewing over 270 people. In ten days. For those of you that have done interviews, you know my pain. For those of you that haven' glad you don't understand.

So school insanity just wrapped up but work insanity is just beginning. Welcome to my crazy life.

Sunday, March 28, 2010


His name is Ben. His parents have made me more angry than I can recently remember being.

His name is Ben. He's my dance partner for a performance.

His name is Ben. He's my friend.

His name is Ben. He's gay.

And his parents disowned him for it.


He came to morning rehearsal, looking upset and was asked multiple times what was wrong and evaded. Blamed lack of sleep, end of term papers, etc. Can't say that anyone was buying it but it eventually got dropped.

While we were alone in the studio, I asked him again what was wrong, and he was near the verge of tears when he asked me to sit down because he had something to tell me. And so I sat. He took a deep breath and finally told me he was gay.

I say finally because I've had a feeling since I met him. He's not the effeminate very-obviously-gay type at all; he's the opposite. He looks like a jock. Acts like one of the boys. But I had a feeling, but never pushed the subject, figuring he'd tell me when or if he wanted to.

When I told him that it didn't matter, didn't change anything...that he was still Ben and I was still me and nothing was different...the tears finally did spill over, and he told me his parents didn't have quite the same reaction when he had told them the day before. Understatement of the century. I'll spare you the nasty things his father said to him because they near brought me to tears, but the closing remark was, "No son of mine is a *insert gay slur here*, so you're no son of mine." His mother drove him back to school in silence. Not a word from either of them since.

I sat there with my friend, while he cried, and I did my best to comfort him, despite the boiling rage that was hiding just beneath the surface. I told him all the things I should: that his true friends won't care, that it doesn't matter who does, that he is the same person as he was before he decided to come out. But what can you do to soothe the hurt of a parent's rejection of their own child?


The rage is still here. I thought this was the 21st century. I thought this was Canada. I thought we were accepting...not just tolerant, but accepting. I thought a parent's love for their child was unconditional.

Apparently, I thought wrong.

My friend is hurting like hell right now. Not because of some random stranger yelling a slur at him, or a jerk at school. Not because of someone who's opinion doesn't matter to him at all. No, he got cut much deeper than that, by his own father, while his mother stood idly by.

And that is WRONG.

Ben deserves better. Everyone like Ben deserves better. And it makes me sad and angry that they don't have it yet.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

An open letter to the love gods

Dear universe,

It is entirely unfair that the hot guy from class (who happens to be in the Army Reserves and has the body to prove it), who also works security at my job, who is friendly and flirtatious, and immensely intelligent 9and contributes to class on a regular basis) IS TAKEN.

Because now I feel uneasy about the fact that we've been talking for the past couple HOURS. No lines were crossed but I doubt that would matter if his girlfriend (who I didn't know existed until...oh, 5 minutes ago) heard about that one.

NOT COOL, universe. Not cool.



Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Lisa Leonard Giveaway

One of the blogs that I click on daily, Bring The Rain is written by Angie Smith. She lost her daughter (the full story is on her blog, and I don't dare try to do justice to it) shortly after birth, and a necklace has been created in Audrey's honour by Lisa Leonard, and she is giving two of them away. See the link to enter if you've been marked by love.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

In the silence. In the dark.

We had a black out when I was at home last night. You haven't experienced a black out until you've seen one in the country...or more accurately, until you haven't been able to see anything. Not your hand 6 inches in front of your face, nothing. Total darkness with nothing but the stars and the moon (if you're lucky) for light.

Its beautiful.

I came home looking for a retreat away from a roller coaster of a week, and Mother Nature, she did not disappoint. Sometimes, this world is so loud. There's acquaintances, coworkers, classmates, strangers...they all demand our attention. There's our laptops, our cell phones, our iPods, our gadgets...buzzing, beeping and flashing all day long. Cars, trucks, horns, sirens...suddenly, this is the backdrop of life.

No, it's not.

At least, it doesn't always have to be.

Sometimes, what we need most in this world is to get away from this world. The harsh, abrasive constant light of the city, the never ending noise of people. We need to step away from constantly checking our Crackberries, or blogs or e-mail. We need to get off MSN. We need to remember what matters, who matters and that sometimes, nothing can be way more fulfilling that a whole lot of something.

Sometimes, we need to lay in the dark, in the silence and listen to the storm.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

I. Am.

There are numerous lines for this moment in history.

"Round robin THIS, we got the win when it mattered."
"Not in our house, USA."
"Gold, Canada, Gold."

But today, seeing this...

And this...

But most importantly, this...

I couldn't be more proud to be Canadian than I am right now. Congratulations, mens hockey. It was well played, hard fought and immensely deserved. That roar the entire world heard? Was a whole nation cheering at once.

And along with the rest of the Canada, I can loudly and proudly say...


Saturday, February 27, 2010

I thought Canadians had a reputation for class

Oh how I love a good controversy. And of course, I love hockey. You mix the two, and I am definitely interested.

The Canadian women's hockey team won gold last night, in what was an awesome game. However, the gold has been tarnished by a bunch of pictures that have leaked out of the women drinking and smoking, while still in uniform and wearing medals, at centre ice after the game. This even prompted an IOC investigation.

It also prompted a very quick apology from the Canadian team, always followed by "But we worked so hard to earn this!" On this issue, I can't help but agree with the IOC. This lovely display was offside, and unnecessary.

Is this really a picture of the most elite athletes in the world? The ones I want representing my country on a world stage? Not at all. I'm fully aware that athletes party after games. I've participated in a few of them myself, being an active athlete. But not a single one of them has ever been on the ice surface. We've never been in uniform.

People have accused the public of being sexist, saying that if the men's team did the same thing, we wouldn't be as critical. The men have never done that. Restrict your partying to the dressing room, or outside the venue.

While you're in uniform, you represent this country. Drinking (some underage), and smoking (illegal inside) isn't what I want someone representing Canada to do, especially in a public venue when the press are present.

Way to tarnish your medal, ladies. Let's hope the guys can accept their medal (be it gold or silver) on Sunday with more class.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Gotta question?

Well here's your chance, folks. Whatever you want to know, I've now got a formspring page. You can submit a question with your username or anonymously, or even on comments here.

Any burning questions in anyone's head? Ask me whatever you'd like.

If the box above doesn't work, click here

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Just friends

The debate on whether opposite sexes can simply be friends with no sexual tension/temptation has raged on for...oh, probably longer than I've been alive, which is why I've been somewhat hesistant to share my feelings. However, the word "emotional affair" has come up in my life so often lately that I think its about time. Forgive me if this isn't my most eloquent post.

I have the utmost respect for a person who can see an emotional affair and end a relationship because they deserve better. Let me say that up front. I'm not justifying these, not in the slightest.


Having a close friend of the opposite sex is not the definition of an emotional affair. Confiding in someone other than your significant other is not an emotional affair. It's just not.

We all have people in our lives that are great at different things. Some people are the person that's incredibly easy to spill your guts and cry to, while someone else is the person who can take you out and cheer you up and not talk about whatever is wrong. This doesn't, and shouldn't, end because of a romantic relationship.

As someone who is lucky enough to have a very, very tight knit group of dude friends, I've been on the receiving end of some serious jealousy, coming from girls that date my friends. It happens often, and I haven't gotten any better at dealing with it, mostly because I don't appreciate the suspicion that I'm going to "steal their man."

Yes, we call/text each other the second major life events happen, or when we need advice, or someone to talk to/bitch at/vent to. Of course we do. And yes, sometimes after talking to a friend, you'll come out of it with a bounce in your step that wasn't there before. Heaven forbid that your significant other's friend cheered them up.

I am the best of friends with a great group of guys. None of us have ever been involved romantically. But if one of my friends calls me and needs a friend, I'm not hanging up on him and telling him to call his girlfriend. Simple as that.

Just because you are in a relationship does not mean you lose everything that was you before. There are still friendships and ties outside of it, and for a relationship to be healthy, there should be. Ever seen someone go into a relationship and sacrifice everyone they cared about for it? Yeah, trainwreck.

For me, it comes down to trust. If I can't trust someone to have a friend of the opposite sex and not constantly fear that he is cheating on me, or wants to...why in the name of all things holy am I with this person? Why am I projecting my insecurities on someone who did nothing to earn them? I'm not saying ignore your gut and pretend like its not happening. What I am saying is don't always expect it. Not every person is that person.

When trust is there, and friends don't have to sneak around behind someone's back, or lie to avoid a fight...then yes, guys and girls CAN just be friends.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Miss, table of 1

First off, sorry I've been a lame blogger lately. I've kinda been MIA. Work has been intense and insane and busy, and school is also keeping me going, with tons of work. So if I don't blog for a while again, well...sorry. In the meantime though, I have a confession to make.

The green monster of jealousy, it has been bothering me lately.

I'm at that age where a lot of my friends/people my age are starting to get engaged/married/pregnant etc. While I am genuinely happy when my friends find a good person that they want to spend their lives with, it always gives me a few pangs of jealousy too. I want that happiness for me too.

I'm not in a relationship, and haven't really ever been in one that I would call long term. I want a husband and kids one day, and sometimes it scares me that I won't find someone that I can see as my husband/parenting partner.

In the university setting, its not easy to find someone that I can respect as a potential partner. I don't drink to excess, I don't smoke (legal or illegal) and I demand that same out of a potential relationship, but with that statement, I probably crossed off 99% of the guys I go to school with.

I'm the girl that reads mom blogs and mentally files away tips, ideas, etc for when I have kids, but I'm not the one that's dating seriously or getting married. With Singles Awareness (Valentines) Day coming up, the pangs of jealousy escalate more than a little bit.

One day, I want to be someone's wife and someone's mom, but for now, its "Miss, table of 1."

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year

Welcome to 2010...a new start, a new year, another chance to get it right.

Here's to health and happiness and always moving forward. Cheers, friends.